Second Chances
by Harmony Remarc
Summary: A oneshot song fic. Rating because of theme of death. Mush has been killed, and Jack is having a difficult time coping... and arguing with Boots about God. Not slash!


**This is not the usual one-shot that I write. It's actually not really like anything I've published so far. This was written quickly, and many of the emotions are real. I'm not sure what you'll think of it, but I've had this idea of doing a song fic where a character has died for a while, so here you go.  
**

* * *

"Jack, Jack!" Cowboy glanced up from his hand of cards to stare at the boy coming toward him. 

"Blink? Y'alright? What's wrong?" Blink was shaken. He attempted to speak, but the words seemed to be having difficulty finding their way out of his mouth. He breathed deeply, and with a heavy voice, finally managed to let sound through.

"It's Mush, Jack." Jack's heart felt like it had stopped with fear.

"What about Mush?" Blink swallowed.

"Did you hear that commotion this morning? With all the coppers running around?"

"Yes…"Jack replied cautiously.

"He's dead, Jack. Mush is dead!" The room had fallen silent. There were several thumps as newsies fell on their bunks in disbelief. Whispers of "No!" drifted in the still air.

"What…" Jack swallowed, trying to steady his voice. "What… happened?" Blink closed his eyes and bowed his head.

"It was all so… stupid. We was sellin' on the corner, like always. An' this big gust a wind just came an' blew Mush's papes all ova the street. I was helpin' him get 'em all. But Mush was out dere in da middle a da street. This carriage comes runnin' down the street… the horses are goin' crazy. An' Mush jus' has to get that last pape. He was right in da way and the horses trample him, he gets all caught up in da wheels." Blink took in a shuddering breath. "It was horrible. Dere was nothin' we could do. He was all bloody and… he's dead Jack!"

Jack was rubbing his forehead. "It's...!" He seemed frozen. With a sudden burst of energy, he pushed his chair back and began to pace the room, raving.

"He's Mush! He's not suppos'd at get hurt! He's sposed ta be here till we all grow up an' leave!" With a cry, he stormed out the lodging house doors. Several other boys followed him. A stunned silence beheld the lodging house for those who remained.

* * *

In the hours that followed, no one was quite sure what to do. It didn't seem right to go on with their normal life. Finally, Racetrack broke the awkwardness.

"He was a great pal… always jokin' around wit us." The others nodded.

"Would pick up the tab if he'd sold extra that day." Again, agreement was shown. Soon, the newsies were gathering around, talking about their friend. The laughter slowly began to trickle in as the boys remembered good times with Mush.

"Them are all great things about him, guys. Jes too bad he's dead so he ain't around to hear it all." The room froze at the word "dead" and slowly turned to see their leader standing in the doorway. Jack sniffed, and it was obvious tears had recently been rolling down his cheeks. He gave a half hearted smirk. "It's all right ta cry, boys. It'd be wrong if we pretended it didn' hurt us none."

Kid Blink stood. "Whadda we gonna do, Jack? I mean, he's gon…dead."

"We'll survive. That's all we can do. Mush ain't got no more second chances, but we do. We'll neva see Mush again, but we've gotta survive!"

Boots cleared his throat. "But yous all can see him, 'gain, y'know. Sees, Mush's a Christian. He's got Jesus in his life, and now dat he's dead here on earth, I knows that hes up dere in Heaven dancin' and singin' wit de angels."

Jack smiled cruelly. "Like dats de only ways we'll live in da happily-eva-afta. Believin' in God. If God's so great an' powerful like you twos always claimed, why'd he let Mush die, huh, Boots?" Boots lowered his own head.

"I's wish I knew. Mush was one a me best friends. An' now he's gone. It don' seem fair. It don' seem right. But deres somethin' good that'll come outta all dis. Cause it's all in God's hands, an' he'll take us t'rough it." Jack heaved a loud sigh.

"Believe whatchu want, Boots. But one a me boys is dead. DEAD! An your great God did nothin' ta stop him from dyin' on da streets. So neva talk to me about him again!"

"Mush had a second chance to live an' he took it! Why don't you?" Boots argued. "Why do you hate 'em for it?"

"I had me second chance! The carriage afta da strike! An' I missed it on purpose! So yous all could have yer own 'second chances'!"

"Dat wasn't a second chance! It was a chance ta start ova here on earth! But yous and I, wes mess up all da time! An' God hates it! But he love you, Francis Sullivan! He loves you so much dat he sent his son… not his best friend… his son! ta die fer ya! An' when Jesus died, he made it so yous an' I's could go ta heaven wit' him! An' he's de only way!"

Jack clenched his fist and shook it at the younger boy, then spun around and stalked out the doors once more. The other newsies had dispersed once the fighting started. They'd seen the argument before, and knew that it could get ugly quickly.

* * *

Pounding the streets of New York, Jack grew frustrated. His friends were always trying to get him to fall for that little trap. _Second chances, yeah right. _In his mind, God was a worthless crutch. He wasn't a big deal in the vast world.

_If he's not a big deal, why are you resisting him so much?_ Jack wanted to smack the extra voice which found it's way inside his head. It sounded exactly like what Mush had said only days before.

_Mush… why you? What did you do to deserve being killed? Why? It's not fair! You're too young, you have your whole life in front of you! You'll never get married. You'll never have kids. You'll never get out of New York. You'll never get that pair of new shoes you always wanted. You'll never dance in the streets for joy with us again. You'll never hawk another headline. You'll never sing in Medda's vaudeville. You'll never crack another joke. You'll never learn to swim. You'll never grow old. You'll never get to vote. You'll never…_

Jack's feet had betrayed him. He found himself standing inside the church that Mush and Boots had willingly gone to every Sunday. Looking around, he saw the stained glass and the wooden pews. He worked his way up the aisle. In front of him, a large cross was hanging on the front wall, a figure of Jesus hanging from it. As Jack stared at the figure, in his mind, something changed. All his life, he'd seen images of Jesus as someone who merely was tied to the cross and basically fell asleep, with no pain.

But the Jesus on this cross… Jack could see the places where a whip had dug into his skin. He could see the blood dripping from his face. He could see where the thorns dug into his head. Jack could see that Jesus was in painful agony. And yet, in spite it all, Jack could see love. Love in the eyes of a man dying. Saying, "I'm doing this for you."

_It isn't fair, God,_ Jack prayed for the first time in his life._ You took Mush away for no reason whatsoever._

Another voice responded, and although Jack wasn't sure he wasn't making up the words as he went along, it felt real.

**I have a purpose for all that I do, Jack.** _What good could possibly come from Mush being dead? He's DEAD, God, dead! Do you know what that means?_ **Yes, Jack. I have experienced Death. I have experienced the pain of losing a friend. I have felt joy, sorrow, peace, and pain. But through it all, I have overcome it. Death is no longer a fright to those who believe in Me, because I have beaten Death. And those who believe in Me have passed from Death into Life.** _So what, God? Is there truly a purpose in having Mush be dead?_ **Jack, my purpose is _you_. **_Me? _**I placed Mush and Boots in your life in order to have you come to know Me. I am the Way, the Truth, and the Life. As much as you may think otherwise, the only way to Heaven is through Me.** **Will you now accept me? Will you be a part of My family?**

Jack paused, and looked up once more at the cross before him. _I don't know why you'd ever want a kid like me God, but if you're willing to take me as your own…_ he closed his eyes again. _I'm yours._

The sun had long since set, and now a single moonbeam came to rest on the figure of Jesus. Jack felt as though the heavy pain that had been building up in his heart since he heard the news about his friend's death now was lifted. A burden was gone, and even though the hurt was still there, Jack knew he didn't have to bear it alone.

_Maybe,_ he thought as he hurried out the door to find Boots, _maybe there is such a thing as a second chance._

Seeing as I found a rock in my pocket  
Seeing as I found a glitch in my soul  
Make believe won't hide the truth  
When judgment falls and it falls on you  
Bend a knee my friend, bend a knee

Lay It Down say it's all my fault, all my fault  
Say I believe, I believe  
Lay it down  
This the hour of my healing, of my healing, yeah

Pride can break a man right down from iron  
Twist him 'round 'round and tatter up a soul  
Handprint of God on the small of my back  
My second chance, my second chance  
I'll bend a knee my friend, I'll bend a knee

Lay It Down say it's all my fault, all my fault  
Say I believe, I believe  
Lay it down  
This the hour of my healing, of my healing, yeah

My heart, my heart redeemed  
If it pleases You Love  
If it pleases You Love  
If it pleases You Love

Lay It Down say it's all my fault, all my fault  
Say I believe, I believe  
Lay it down  
This the hour of my healing, of my healing, yeah

_(Lay It Down, by Jennifer Knapp)_

* * *

**This is written in honor of Eric Watts, a classmate of mine who was killed on Friday, December 8, 2006 in a car accident. I have no idea if Eric was saved, but I hope that some good can come out of the biggest tragedy this town has had in years.**

**  
Rest in peace, my friend. I pray that God will watch over you're family, friends, and this community in this difficult time.**_  
_


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